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12 November 2009 @ 12:54 am
well i'm disgusting. as soon as i got up (i was hungry because i didn't eat much for dinner) to get some spaghetti-os.. i got that craving for something sweet. (which happens after every meal for me.. including breakfast) so i just ate about a cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips and the rest of about 1/4 of a bag of almonds. so i feel positively mortified.

i hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
dirty angelrotting_angel on November 12th, 2009 03:08 pm (UTC)
Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a process. And it wasn't -that- bad. At least you didn't eat the whole bag of almonds and the bag of chips too :(
And as an aside... I don't like chocolate sept when i'm pregnant which I am, and that sounds delicious. :x
krissi;fashi0nistuh on November 12th, 2009 10:09 pm (UTC)
yeah i know.. i just think i get down on myself cuz i'll do well all day long.. and then go all balls out destruct-o lady at night. it doesn't help my boyfriend works thirds now so he's not here to make myself accountable.

and yes.. chocolate and pregnancy do go hand in hand, don't they :)
dirty angelrotting_angel on November 12th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC)
Duuude. I am totally the same way. I'm much easier to control my eating when I don't spend the time in the house and such. I like to even be in the car whether we are going somewhere or just driving. It keeps me from eating much else aside from ice.

And yes they do. I -hated- chocolate as a child. Didn't care for it as an adult and BAM Pregnancy and OMGCHOCOLATE mmm chocolate. Lol. And Chocolate and nuts is the BEST EVER
Asttarte - Jennyniseema on November 12th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC)
I think giving yourself permission to eat chocolate at any time of the day, month, or your life is perfectly AWESOME!!!!

The making yourself wrong for doing it is where the healing is needed; not the thing you ate. All food gets processed and digested and leaves the body eventually.
xstilettoxstiletto on November 12th, 2009 04:40 pm (UTC)
at least almonds and chocolate have healthy stuff in them. i am the same way - and snack foods like that - anything that's finger food and comes in a bag pretty much - are the death for me. i do love spaghetti-Os though. mmmmmm....spaghetti Os....

too bad i'm in class right now :(
krissi;fashi0nistuh on November 12th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC)
i know whoever made up spaghetti-os should get like a pulitzer or something lol. PURE GENIUS! i add sharp cheddar to mine though.. like.. YES lmao
Asttarte - Jennyniseema on November 12th, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC)
yum yum
sounds delich to me!
xstilettoxstiletto on November 13th, 2009 12:41 am (UTC)
oh god, on my worst binge days, i put melted sharp cheddar on EVERYTHING...sooo good. even, like, popcorn.
Asttarte - Jennyniseema on November 12th, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC)
almonds AND chocolate ARE actually REALLY good for you, aside from what everyone else says. They ARE a healthy food! it's ok.
(Deleted comment)
krissi;fashi0nistuh on November 12th, 2009 10:11 pm (UTC)
yeah i agree there i like weight watchers. my only problem is instead of eating ONE 100 calorie pack, i eat 8 or 9 100 calorie packs.. it just sucks. i just need help.
Asttarte - Jennyniseema on November 12th, 2009 11:22 pm (UTC)
I like to eat the real cookies, the real, regular old fashioned kinds and no low sugar and no fat free. The ones that have less sugar and find, in my opinion have other stuff in them that isn't really good for you in the end. But moderation with the good stuff is the best way to go. That's only my opinion though. Whatever works for you, go for it!
Asttarte - Jennyniseema on November 12th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)
Yummy chocolate chips! Well, if you ate it, maybe your body really needed it. I think that I eat sweets sometimes because I want a little love in my heart and body, and if I'm craving Chocolate; which is often, I just let myself eat it! Sometimes we crave sweet things because it makes us feel like we're taking care of ourselves, and when we feel hurt in our hearts, we need to take care of ourselves a lot! I say, its ok you ate it. You have permission to eat what makes you happy, and as long as you don't eat it every day and in every meal, I think it is perfectly ok! Give yourself permission to treat yourself once in a while. It's really ok.

I'm really sorry you hate yourself. I used to feel that way a long time ago. That is a really hard place to be in. I feel for you!
krissi;fashi0nistuh on November 13th, 2009 12:18 am (UTC)
Re: Yummy!
thank you for the advice. i guess what i really need is to feel better. there's a lot of baggage and horrible things that happened in my childhood.. especially the diagnosis of my mom's cancer and eventually her passing. i think once i get all that hurt out of me, that i might be okay.. i know i'll always be an addict.. i guess i just need to find something healthy to become addicted to.